Blogebrity

Clutch Player

Evil Spock hopes you were paying attention to the wide world of sports over the weekend. There was a game going on that Evil Spock wasn't sure was being televised. Americans have an insatiable appetite for the fine arts, therefore sports usually takes an undeserved backseat as a form of entertainment here in the States. For example, you can hardly catch a good sporting event on your local PBS affiliate.

The game Evil Spock was talking about was fantastic. It was your classic David versus Goliath, but this time David won! There was so much drama and excitement, Evil Spock could barely contain Evil Spock's self. Evil Spock won't forget that special moment; the one big play that snatched victory from the jaws of imminent victory.

That play being of course Evil Spock catching for what will be forever known as "The Pass", and hitting a three on Evil Spock's first shot of the basketball match.

Many people (mostly Evil Spock) are still talking about all the controversies surrounding last Sunday's pickup game. Like how someone was mysteriously (some say miraculously) injured to allow Evil Spock to play. It was as if a magical, invisible Jeff Gillooly had taken a lead pipe to said player's leg just for Evil Spock to participate. Or how Evil Spock's foot was on the line when Evil Spock let his shot sail (poppycock!) Or the blown layup a couple of plays later that Evil Spock could've sworn that Evil Spock was fouled on. Nonetheless, Evil Spock was victorious, and as the saying goes, "it doesn't matter who wins or loses, as long as Evil Spock wins".

Basketball, along with online Scrabble and Guitar Hero, has been keeping Evil Spock busy while Evil Spock had been away from The Few. You see, Evil Spock was burned out from writing. Evil Spock had become so web-famous, that Evil Spock felt the weight of the worlds (Evil Spock is talking about Jupiter and Saturn, not that wussy "pseudo-planet" Pluto) on Evil Spock's broad shoulders. The pressure with keeping up with the accolades had become too much, so the words dried up, and all Evil Spock had to offer were clever one-liners and jokes about the Irish as opposed to well-though out, award-winning blogs.

Sometimes you can become so web-famous, that you end up being real-life famous. Like so famous that when Evil Spock gets a cup of coffee at Evil Spock's favorite coffee place, the barista smiles and says hi to you. Or how Evil Spock's in a grocery store, and they give Evil Spock the choice of paper or plastic! Evil Spock imagines this is how a Madonna or Brangelina refugee baby feels like!

It was all fun and games for awhile, and then all of sudden, there was Interweb Celebrity. Evil Spock didn't want this dubious "honor", and it became more of a hindrance than a benefit. Because of the blog, the spectre of Interweb Celebrity hounded Evil Spock on a daily basis.

Just like Visa, Interweb Celebrity was everywhere Evil Spock wanted to be. When Evil Spock went to work, Interweb Celebrity was there. When Evil Spock went to a a restaurant, Interweb Celebrity was there. When Evil Spock would go to the gym, Interweb Celebrity was there shouting slogans at Evil Spock whilst working out. Even when Evil Spock was in the bathroom, Interweb Celebrity was there, and curiously shouting the same slogans at Evil Spock from the gym. So weird.

The problem with Interweb Celebrity, is that Interweb Celebrity is fickle. Once Evil Spock stopped writing, Interweb Celebrity still haunted Evil Spock. Haunted Evil Spock so much, that Evil Spock couldn't even look at the blog without feeling guilty. Then the guilt started building and building, until Interweb Celebrity stabbed Evil Spock with a Proverbial knife between the shoulder blades.

Luckily, Evil Spock survived the stabbing, and Interweb Celebrity (AKA Miguel Sánchez, AKA Dr. Nguyen Van Falk) has been caught and now is behind bars. They still haven't found the assault weapon (Interweb Celebrity's knife, Proverbial) but Evil Spock is confident that it'll be recovered.

Now that Interweb Celebrity is in a secret gulag, Evil Spock feels safe enough to come back to The Few and write again. With Evil Spock's return, there have been a few bumps along the way. Like how there are so many new people linking Evil Spock these days. If you've linked Evil Spock, and Evil Spock hasn't returned the favor please tell Evil Spock. Also during Evil Spock's absence, a few things didn't get done that were done last year. Namely The State of The Few and Superfan for 2007.

Evil Spock can take care of The State of The Few pretty quickly in this blog entry: Evil Spock wrote a lot of blog articles, stopped writing, and is now writing again. Unfortunately Superfan can't be as easily dealt with.

Evil Spock has a lot of apprehension about Superfan. Last year, it made a few bloggers more famouser, and Evil Spock believes they've had to deal with the curse of their own personal Miguel Sánchez. For those who are skeptical, just look at 2006's Superfans: two have stopped writing completely, and one is so bitter you could taste it. The only one who apparently came off unscathed (and who also happened to be the winner of Superfan 2006), became Ensign Redshirt, and now he has to deal with his own personal hell as Evil Spock's writer monkey.

Regardless, Evil Spock feels traditions are important, so Evil Spock is going to have another Superfan contest for 2007. Evil Spock will choose four long-time readers to write a paragraph on their favorite blog entry for the year of 2007 by Evil Spock. There will then be an election to see who is the biggest Superfan of them all for the year. Winner of Superfan will have The Needs of the Few for one day to espouse anything they want, and will also get a signed copy of a local newspaper that featured Evil Spock playing Guitar Hero III and looking like a general dork.

Evil Spock can only choose 4 candidates, so if you are interested, please say so in the comments section, or send an email to askevilspock@gmail.com Please use 2006 Superfan as a reference to see if you have the steely resolve to become Evil Spock's biggest stalker Superfan. Evil Spock will try to contact you via email to tell you if you qualified.

Evil Spock out!

Evil Spockolypse . . . Now!

Evil Spock is so upset. The weather barons had predicted a major winter storm for Bloomington, IN, or otherwise known as Evil Spock's Domicile of Devilish and Devious Doom (aka Tree City, USA.) Bloomington is usually woefully unprepared for hazardous winter conditions, so the city pretty much shuts down when there is any serious accumulation of snow and/or ice. This also means Evil Spock doesn't have to go to Evil Spock's day-job-of-do-goodery, since Evil Spock's work is closed during inclement weather.

Since Evil Spock was expecting a snow day, Evil Spock stayed up until 2:30AM, drinking whiskey and watching movies on IFC. Evil Spock reveled in the fact that Evil Spock would be able to sleep in, make pancakes, and do evil deeds all day on Friday.

Unfortunately, the snow never came, and now Evil Spock is at work and is dead-tired. Evil Spock wishes Evil Spock could control the weather like the People's Republic of China, or at the very least round up the Weather Channel people and "reeducate" them like the Chinese government. Evil Spock usually doesn't support torture, but Evil Spock is willing to make an exception in this case.

Anyway, its probably good that Evil Spock came to work today, since Jon Edwards dropped out the race to be POTUS in 2008. Jon Edwards platform for his Presidential run was to fight poverty, and since Evil Spock's day-job-of-do-goodery is in the forefront of the fight against poverty, Evil Spock will have to pick up some of the slack. Thanks a lot Edwards.

Mr. Edwards was the candidate Evil Spock supported for the POTUS run in 2008. Evil Spock had so much confidence in Mr. Edwards, that Evil Spock honestly thought about not running in 2012, and waiting until 2016 for the former senator to complete his reign. Since Evil Spock didn't have to pimp for 2012 anymore, Evil Spock thought Evil Spock could walk away from the blog for awhile, and possibly not write again until 2009. Now Evil Spock will have to stop resting on Evil Spock's laurels, and pimp Evil Spock's 2012 POTUS run, until Evil Spock can't pimps no more.

Since switching to the Godzilla-empowered Dems a couple of years ago, Evil Spock has enjoyed being on the winning team. Evil Spock and The Collective had thought that the Democrats would sweep into the White House in 2008, and Evil Spock wouldn't have to switch parties again. Sadly, 2008 doesn't seem like a lock anymore.

Before all the primaries started to happen, many pollsters and pundits said that Jon Edwards was the most electable candidate for the Democrats. Conversely, John McCain was the most electable from the GOP. They both appealed to the middle of America, and could probably draw voters from either Blue or Red voters. Purple voters if you will.

Surprisingly, the Democratic party must not care about electability, but Evil Spock should've figured that out with the nomination going to John Kerry in 2004. Obviously the Republicans care, because McCain is currently they're forerunner, and will probably get his party's nomination. This sets up a McCain versus Hillary battle, and the presidential race actually becomes an actual race, as opposed to a solid victory for the Democrats.

Evil Spock isn't counting out Barack Obama. Evil Spock really likes Obama, and will throw Evil Spock's support to him now that Edwards is out. But Evil Spock doesn't believe America is progressive as the John Q. Public would like you to believe. Race is still an issue in America. You've got the Jena Six hoopla and nooses on GolfWeek for crying out loud! Barack can't get a membership to some of the more exclusive country clubs in America, and you really think that'll it'll be a cakewalk for him to the White House?!? Evil Spock believes the veil of White Guilt and open-mindedness dissipates once those curtains close behind you in a polling booth.

Democrats must become more organized if they want to win in 2008. Sadly, McCain appeals to the middle of America far more than Barack or Hillary, and its always the middle and not the left and the right that elects a President.

If the GOP reigns supreme in 2008, you at least get the consolation of funny blogs from Evil Spock until Evil Spock and The Collective take the White House by hook or by crook in 2012.

Evil Spock out!

Ensign Redshirt: Back to the Future

Hello Evil Spock's precious Few. Evil Spock has now returned and will be perusing blogs to gather information for Evil Spock's upcoming invasion reading pleasures. Evil Spock has missed The Few very much, and will have a blog up for tomorrow.

Actually, Evil Spock wanted to post it today, but Ensign Redshirt constructed the most excellent excuse for Evil Spock's prolonged absence. Consider his musing the cheese course in Evil Spock's crazy buffet of life. The suckling pig and turducken that is Evil Spock's writing will here before you know it!

Evil Spock out!

I am happy to be back from an extended away mission, which required an even more extended recovery period after experiencing a number of near-fatal injuries. Despite being in magnetic traction in my hyper-baric chamber, I managed to catch up on all my paperwork and ongoing projects. It is at this time I can announce that we are nearing completion of an excitingly Evil project involving time displacement.

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